


Monster In Me

by pvffinsdaisies



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Arguments, Fights, Hurt No Comfort, Inspired by Music, Inspired by a Little Mix song, M/M, Toxic Relationship, near abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:53:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28959003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pvffinsdaisies/pseuds/pvffinsdaisies
Summary: Mathias reflects on his relationship with Lukas after their most recent fight.
Relationships: Denmark/Norway (Hetalia)
Kudos: 14





	Monster In Me

**Author's Note:**

> I already posted this on Instagram, but ig i’m posting it here too.
> 
> it gets kinda worse towards the end, i wrote this late at night a week or so ago and i ended up really tired after a while so. sorry about that.
> 
> names, in case anyone needs them:  
> mathias - denmark  
> lukas - norway

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ “this relationship is broken.”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ they were the only thoughts Mathias held as he looked over to his boyfriend, who was still visibly shaking after their fight. Lukas no longer appeared beautiful to him, the moonlight shining down on him darkened his shadows- his neck and adam’s apple, his eyes and mouth and his soft hands all appeared pitch black. Mathias could remember back when he believed his boyfriend to be the most attractive man alive, an angel sent straight from heaven he was lucky enough to win over. That was a long time ago, nowadays he knew better- was able to see the darkness within the both of them and how it seemed to lust for the other. An unhealthy habit had formed between the two of them.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ What had they been fighting about this time? Honestly he couldn’t quite remember, despite how the clock only ticked in seconds since. Their fights seemed an everyday routine, after a while they felt all the same and now he could no longer separate them from one another. One thing in particular stood out about this one, however, the moment Norway reached for his tie with nothing but pure, unbred, flaming hatred within his eyes. That was the moment. The moment when time slowed down, when his breath shook more than his voice, when he knew he had lost and prepared for impact.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ impact that never came.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ “I promised I’d never do that again, I’m a man of my word.” but Denmark couldn’t help scoff. A man of his word? That was complete bullshit, maybe not at first- definitely not at first- when they were promising one another the world and proclaiming to love one another forever. He could make sense of it not being true now, for if Lukas was truly a man of his word he would still be in love with him, which just wasn’t true anymore. Perhaps for the best.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ the relief was definitely unearthly though, the wonderful sensation of being safe for another day.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ “why are we still doing this?” he asked, staring down at the floor afraid of what the other could potentially say. Norway was knives; his words were daggers and he was a strong enough fighter to correctly use them. Funnily enough, he always remembered it to be one of the things he found endearing about the norwegian, he had never prepared himself for that to be what he feared most. He would be hurt by the answer he received, even if thought had been placed as to responding delicately and kindly, there was no truly good way for either of them to respond.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ “politics,” the response was simple and short, but it rang through the dane’s ears over and over again, “we’re too close politically, norway and denmark’s relationship would be too messy if we broke up. not to mention the awkward position it would place the rest of the nordics in.” though denmark knew it true that staying together was causing the both of them more harm, he could agree with the reasoning. the last point in particular, knowing precisely what norway had meant when he said that- even if it felt wrong to say out loud.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ it was 𝐼𝑐𝑒𝑙𝑎𝑛𝑑.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ Sweden and Finland would practically instantly stay close Norway, but what about Iceland? The divide it would place on the person they both loved before everyone and everything else. His brother and the one he had spent most of his life being close to, neither of them dared to imagine the heartbreak he would have to endure if anything was to separate them. If protecting Emil’s feelings meant remaining unhappy in an unhealthy relationship, it was a price they were both willing to pay.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ he brushed past the younger nation, leaving him alone in the living room as he headed for the peaceful land of sleep and dreams. he had never been keen on sleep before, finding it boring and favouring daytime with delightful energy and optimism, but anything was better than spending another moment alone with the monster he had eventually learnt to resent. the stairs creaked slightly, but not too much, not enough for him to be able to drown out the faint sound of crying he heard from below him. crying was rare for norway, but he no longer could find any desire to comfort him.


End file.
